White Roses
by Skylark Songbird
Summary: Though Kyoto helped Tsuzuki cope with a part of himself, the demons of the past aren't quite ready to leave him. Hisoka tries to understand, as time grows short.
1. Default Chapter

White Roses  
  
Pairings: Hisoka x Tsuzuki  
  
Warnings: Spoilers later on, violence, angst, and possibly gratuitous scenes.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Tsuzuki. I don't own his cute little puppy ears and tail. I don't even own slices of his favorite - apple pie. I'm just a poor little girl who finally got off her butt long enough to write a fic. ^^  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey, where's Tsuzuki-san?" Watari asked, adjusting the glasses that had slipped down his nose for the fifth time that morning. 003 hooted in agitation. Every time Watari lifted his arm, the miniscule owl was forced to readjust itself to keep from falling off his shoulder. Hisoka shrugged.  
  
"Probably out buying more cake. Why, do you need to talk to him?" Watari looked around the room, checking to make sure no one was listening, then leaned into Hisoka and whispered excitedly.  
  
"I think I've finally made it! My ultimate gender-switching potion! I must be getting close, because it didn't even explode this time!" Watari nearly quivered with excitement. Hisoka shuddered; recalling the last time Watari had tried the experiment. Why did the genki scientist want to make this potion so badly in the first place?  
  
"If you're looking for Tsuzuki, you wont be finding him today." Hisoka and Watari leaped in alarm, and glanced upward to see an unamused Tatsumi looking coolly at the two of them. 003 hooted in alarm and fluttered onto Watari's head. Watari scrambled out of his chair, grabbing a proposal from one his pockets.  
  
"Ano, Tatsumi-san, I was wondering if possibly you could grant me a-" Shaking his head slightly, Tatsumi put a pile of forms onto Watari's desk, and turned to leave the room. Watari sagged into his chair in defeat. Tatsumi could be so cruel!  
  
"Wait! Tatsumi-san." Tatsumi turned as Hisoka stood, fidgeting slightly with his hands.  
  
"Tatsumi-san, why won't Tsuzuki be here today? I-is something wrong?" Hisoka stubbornly looked down at his feet, refusing to show the worry on his face. Tatsumi's eyes softened. He sometimes forgot that Hisoka was so sensitive towards Tsuzuki.  
  
"Everything's fine Hisoka, not to worry. Tsuzuki just has some personal business to take care of today, that's all." Hisoka frowned grumpily.  
  
"I'm not worried! I just thought it would be good to know where my partner is, that's all!" The small furrow in his brow spoiled the indignant look in Hisoka's eyes. Tatsumi adjusted his tie, and turned to leave once more.  
  
"Of course Hisoka. Tsuzuki will be back tomorrow. Oh, and Watari? I'll need those forms on my desk by 5:00." With that, Tatsumi exited the room.  
  
Watari grimaced, flipping through the many forms on his desk. Hisoka glanced over disinterestedly, absently petting 003, who had fluttered into his lap a few moments ago.  
  
"Good gracious Bon, look at all these forms! Ugh, and more money deducted from my paycheck for those Bunsen burners I had to replace.hey Bon, do you have the date?"  
  
"December 14th." Watari froze for a minute, nodded to himself, and then resumed filling out the forms on his desk.  
  
"Oh, that explains it." He muttered absently. Hisoka looked over at him curiously.  
  
"Explains what?" 003 nudged Hisoka's finger, urging him to continue petting.  
  
"Where Tsuzuki is today." Watari said offhandedly as he initialed a document."  
  
"What do you mean, Watari?"  
  
"Well, today is the anniversary of Tsuzuki's death." Watari leaned back thoughtfully, raking a hand through his unruly hair. "A lot of shinigami take their death days off, it's kind of a personal thing for them. Though Tsuzuki seems to take it a lot more seriously than most people." Hisoka put 003 on Watari's desk and folded his arms around himself.  
  
"Watari, how did Tsuzuki die?" Watari paused.  
  
".I don't know Bon. I don't think anyone except for EnMaDaiOh, Kanoe, and Tsuzuki himself know the answer to that question." Sighing, Watari put down his pen.  
  
"Hey, do you want me to take to you out to lunch or something? You seem a bit lost." Hisoka shook his head.  
  
"No, you have a lot of work to get done. I think I'd rather just go for a walk." Watari studied Hisoka's face, and then seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. Shrugging, the scientist turned back to his work.  
  
"Suit yourself, kiddo." Watari leaned back over his pile of work, muttering to himself about laboratory expenses.  
  
"Jaa." Dragging on his jacket, Hisoka got up, and left the small office.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hisoka sighed as he walked past his twelfth bakery shop in three hours. Holding the sides of his jacket together closely, Hisoka shivered. Why did the bakeries all have to be so deceptively cheery? They were always well lit and warm and smelled enticing.in fact, they reminded Hisoka of Tsuzuki. Hisoka stopped in his tracks. What had been intended to be a short stroll to clear his thoughts had obviously progressed into something entirely different. Something entirely centered on a certain shinigami.  
  
This was getting him nowhere. He'd already eaten enough slices of apple pie to make him sick (they reminded him of Tsuzuki) and besides, he hadn't seen a single sign of his wayward companion. It was time to take a break.  
  
Finding a bench to settle on, Hisoka let his thoughts wander to his strange violet-eyed partner. He'd never been able to understand Tsuzuki. Every time they were near each other, Hisoka could feel a swarm of emotions emanating from his being. Even though he always seemed so cheerfully clueless, so ineptly carefree, Hisoka could tell that there was much more simmering beneath the surface.  
  
Tsuzuki's cheerfulness was real, he could tell, but underneath, he could sense of profound sadness. And weariness. It never wavered, this powerful feeling, no matter if Tsuzuki was gushing over a pastry, yelling at Terazuma, trying to get some money from Tatsumi, or on the job with him. Always, throbbing like an unhealed wound, that strange feeling throbbed in the background, underscoring Tsuzuki's cheerful nature with a poignant edge of sorrow.  
  
It troubled him, that Tsuzuki hid these feelings deep within him. Somewhere along the line, the violet-eyed shinigami had changed from a nuisance, to a partner, to a respected mentor.to a friend. Hisoka's.first friend. Though he would never admit it to anyone else, Tsuzuki meant the entire world to him. It was because of Tsuzuki that he had found himself smiling, and laughing. He would always catch him off-guard with some joke he would slip in, or a teasing smile he would direct his way, and before Hisoka knew it, he'd find his lips twitching uncontrollably until they curled into a smile. Hisoka couldn't remember smiling before he met Tsuzuki.  
  
Musing over this, Hisoka became startled to realize that he could feel the low throbbing sensation of feeling that meant his partner was nearby. Lifting himself off the bench, he began walking in the direction of the powerful feelings emanating with increasing intensity. As he made his way down some narrow alleyways, the feeling grew stronger and more pronounced, drawing him more rapidly towards his goal. His shoes sloshed through the ice left on the ground, as he turned left, then right, then past an abandoned warehouse to find him self on the edge of a graveyard.  
  
The graveyard was very bare and simple, lacking in decorated tombstones, offerings, or even flowers. All that distinguished it from the surrounding area was a plain metal fence, rusted around the edges and bent by the weight of time.  
  
Tsuzuki knelt silently at a headstone three rows away. Tears made silvery tracks down his cold cheeks, and moistened his loose necktie. A bouquet of white roses, adorned with a red ribbon, lay forgotten in his hands as they cradled each other in his lap.  
  
"Bringing flowers to my own grave.I'm pretty pathetic, ne?"  
  
Hisoka jumped, thinking that he'd been discovered, but Tsuzuki said nothing more. Looking down at his hands as though he'd finally realized the bouquet was still there, he nestled it at the food of his tombstone. With that done, he brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them like a small child, and silently wept.  
  
Hisoka let his back slide down the wall of the building next to him, sat on the cold damp ground, and watched his partner. The sun set, washing everything in tones of dark blue and gray, enveloping the small pocket of space where the two of them kept their vigil. Eventually the wind picked up, whipping the tassels of Tsuzuki's trench coat up around his face, and a freezing rain sleeted down upon them.  
  
Hours later, Tsuzuki stiffly got up wiping mud from his hands onto his trench coat. He shook himself slightly, rubbing feeling back into his arms, and giving the head stone one final glance, began to walk away.  
  
Once the footsteps had retreated, Hisoka sighed deeply, and sneezed into the night air. Apparently he would bring more than these new feelings with him from this night. He sat there for a few minutes, watching his frosty breath billow from his mouth and dissipate in front of him. Finally Hisoka rose to his feet walked over to Tsuzuki's grave. Touching the top of the gravestone with the tips of his fingers, he murmured a soft prayer, and left.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey everybody! What'd I miss?" Tsuzuki beamed, flipping a chair backwards and straddling it. Watari looked up from his bento lunch and grinned.  
  
"Oi, Tsuzuki, you're just in time to try my next potion!!" Tsuzuki choked on a bite of his donut. 003 hooted in alarm as Tsuzuki's arm smacked into her while flailing about the table.  
  
"Hack hack!!"  
  
"Ahh!! Here, drink some of my tea!!!" Tsuzuki waved his hands frantically in front of him, beating Watari away.  
  
"Hack, that's probably, hack, the potion!!" Watari sweat dropped.  
  
"Well.that's true! Hehehe! But really Tsuzuki, it would be a big favor!!"  
  
Hisoka snuck a sidelong glance at the two genki shinigami. Honestly, they were making more of a commotion than the rest of the lunchroom combined! Hisoka rolled his eyes, but could already feel the corner of his mouth twitching. Maybe it was something slipped into the office donuts?  
  
"Hey, the weirdest thing happened today! I got to my office, and sitting on my desk was a fresh slice of apple pie!!" Hisoka's back stiffened and a faint blush began to spread over his features.  
  
"When I ate it, nothing bad happened to me or anything! It was great!"  
  
Watari glanced out of the corner of his eye at the slowly reddening boy to his right and began to smirk.  
  
"Hey Hisoka, you share an office with Tsuzuki, ne? Did you see anybody slip something onto his desk?" Watari grinned mischievously. 003 began running a strand of his hair through her beak.  
  
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" Hisoka stammered, throwing a quick frown at the scientist. Watari chuckled to himself as took a bite out of his yakitori chicken.  
  
"Well, I have a lot of work to do. I'll see you guys later." Watari snickered as Hisoka quickly scooted back his chair and scurried out of the lunchroom.  
  
When he got back to his office, he plopped down into his seat with a sigh. True, Tsuzuki had seemed chipper, but now that Hisoka was paying more close attention, he could see the shadows around his eyes, and the way his laughter would sometimes trail off, becoming a little like a sob. Still, Hisoka could sense true joy coming from Tsuzuki when he had mentioned the slice of pie. Hisoka smiled softly. Maybe he'd be able to repay his partner for all the smiles he'd brought to his life.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Oi, Tsuzuki-san?" Tsuzuki looked up from his box of pocky to see Watari peering at him from over his glasses.  
  
"Hn? What is it Watari?" Watari leaned forward to look Tsuzuki in the eye.  
  
"You do know that Bon is the person who left that pie for you, right?" Tsuzuki put down his stick of pocky, and for a moment, a real smile slipped through. It wasn't exuberant, or full of manic energy like his usual smiles. It settled over his features like a warm ray of sunlight, full of contentment and peace. A soft whisper fell from his lips.  
  
"I know Watari.I know."  
  
------------------------------------------ Tsuzuku. 


	2. Chapter Two

White Roses  
  
Pairings: Hisoka x Tsuzuki  
  
Warnings: Spoilers, violence, angst, and possibly gratuitous scenes. Disclaimer: Hey everybody, sorry this took so long! I don't own Tsuzuki, or Hisoka, or even sadistic little Muraki! But I do own all eleven tankoubon of Yami no Matsuei! The power. . .the POWER! *grin*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Don't gloss over it, Asato. You are. . .a murderer." No. . . "This rose is you. . .and these clipped buds are the humans you've slaughtered. . ." Ruka. . .help me. . . "For the rose that is yourself, you'd let family die. . .even yours." You're wrong. . .I. . .I. . . "Well then what are those behind you?" No!!!. . .no. . . "Asato-kun! Come on, I'm going to teach you how to cook curry!" Stay back. . . ". . .Asato-kun? Daijoubu?" Don't. . .Ruka. . . ". . .Asato-kun? What are you doing? Asato-kun?!!" "Nooo!!" Lurching, Tsuzuki sat up in his bed and shivered. Glancing down at his immaculate hands, all he could see was blood.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Hisoka stepped out of the shower, toweling off his caramel blond hair as he studied himself in the mirror. With a critical eye, he twisted around to look at his back, then turned forward again, letting the warm glow of the lamplight cast smooth shadows over the planes of his body. His body was thin, almost effeminately willowy, and his skin was unusually pale. Leaning forward, he tilted his chin to the side and studied his jaw line. Life hadn't given him enough time to grow facial hair, leaving his face smooth like a young child's. /Still, I'm not too bad looking. . . I mean, I could be a little taller, my shoulder's a little broader, but I'm in pretty good shape for my size. . . and my eyes are a fairly nice color, though no where near as gorgeous as his eyes. . ./ Hisoka stopped for a moment, leaning against the mirror as he mused over his violet-eyed partner. Tsuzuki had slowly seeped into his veins; getting Hisoka to smile behind his books, actually snort while laughing at his rendition of 'Do You Hear the People Sing', and once even helping Tsuzuki play a prank on Watari by gluing all his beakers to the counter top. Hisoka shook his head bemusedly at the memory. Hisoka wiped away the stray droplets of water on the counter top with his towel, and then tossed it into the hamper. Suddenly, a searing pain throughout his limbs made him convulse and fall to the tiled floor. Lifting a hand to clutch his throbbing forehead, the curse scars that had begun to pulse with light drew a frightened gasp from his throat. Shaking, he tried to find a position that would ease the burning torture across his skin. Then, as quickly as it came, the light in the scars dimmed, and faded away, along with the pain. Taking a shuddering breath, Hisoka propped himself against the doorway. /I can see it. . .the red moon. . ./ Squeezing his eyes shut, Hisoka slowly rocked back and forth, trying to find solace in the soft sounds of the night outside. But he couldn't escape the feeling that the red moon was watching him.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
"Tsuzuki-san. Kurosaki-san." Hisoka looked up crankily from a pile of forms he was filling out. Putting the papers down, he flashed a quick glare at Tsuzuki who was preoccupied with a game of Tetris on his computer.  
  
"Ahem. Tsuzuki-san!" Tsuzuki jolted in his chair and looked guiltily over his shoulder at Tatsumi.  
  
"Ah, h-hai Tatsumi-san." He grinned sheepishly, little puppy ears appearing on top of his head. His tail wagged hopefully.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san. You and Kurosaki-san have another assignment." Tsuzuki's tail fell to the ground, and his ears drooped in forlorn disappointment. Tatsumi barely kept himself from rolling his eyes and continued in his typical brisk manner.  
  
"The girl's name is Arakawa Anko. Supposedly she died two months ago, but her soul has not arrived yet. This should be a fairly easy case for you two. We want you to track down her spirit, and help it arrive at its proper destination. Here is some information on her whereabouts prior to her demise." Tatsumi passed Hisoka a thick packet of documents took a moment to lean over Tsuzuki's shoulder and shut off his computer.  
  
"Hey! I was about to break my old record!!" Tsuzuki squawked indignantly.  
  
"Yes, but new Tetris records won't pay back all the damage you did to the library now will it?" Tsuzuki blanched at the memory of his many debts and sunk down into his rolly-chair. Seemingly satisfied, Tatsumi turned to leave.  
  
"Oh, and I expect the case to be finished by the end of the week." Tsuzuki gaped in alarm.  
  
"But today's Friday!!" He sputtered. Shutting the door behind him, Tatsumi smirked as he pretended he didn't hear Tsuzuki's last comment. Tsuzuki harrumphed, glaring daggers at the door.  
  
"You shouldn't be so sour you know. After all, its your fault we're in this mess." Hisoka muttered sardonically. Tsuzuki jumped up, punching his hand with his fist.  
  
"You're right! Lets be on our way then!" Tsuzuki, grinning his head off like a Cheshire cat, grabbed Hisoka's wrist and bolted for the door, throwing it open as he bounded through. Hisoka shrieked, and clamped his hand over his mouth, turning beet red at the girlish sound that had left his mouth. Dammit, couldn't he have gotten at least a little further through puberty before he died? And what happened to Tsuzuki's so recent sadness? Watari laughed, as they zipped past, casually waving at them with a beaker in his hand.  
  
/Hn. . .something seems off about those two today. . / Watari jumped as a flask behind him exploded, leaving his ponderings behind in favor of a set of latex gloves and a dustpan.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hisoka scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets as he glared at the slush-soaked pavement in front of him with vehemence. The wind turned the air frigid as it blew furiously past, tossing Hisoka's bangs into his eyes. Grimacing, he spat out another chunk of his hair and swiped at it with numb fingers. How long had it been since they had set out? Four hours, five? And any minute, Tsuzuki would be sure to pipe up with-  
  
"I'm hungry." The vein above Hisoka's eyebrow began to twitch ever so slightly.  
  
"Tsuzuki. We are not stopping for cake."  
  
"How about a cinnabon?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pie?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"What about-" Hisoka wheeled around, clenching his jaw so tightly that the muscle began to throb, as though it was trying to escape the suddenly not too friendly location of Hisoka's face.  
  
"Tsuzuki!!! Goddammit!!!! Just once, can't you think with your head and not your FUCKING stomach!?!!!" For a split second, pain flashed across Tsuzuki's face. Caught up in his own frustration Hisoka failed to notice.  
  
"Hisoka, calm down, onegai? Come on, we haven't tried this street yet-" Tsuzuki reached for Hisoka's arm, a smile plastered over his worried expression. Hisoka flinched, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of powerful emotions coming from his partner.  
  
"Let go of me!" Hisoka shoved Tsuzuki away and fell backwards onto the sleet-soaked pavement. The two of them froze, eyes locked for a moment in tense silence. Tsuzuki tore his gaze away, and began to walk down the alleyway.  
  
"Tsuzuki-"  
  
"No Hisoka, you're right. I'm being pesky, ne?" Tsuzuki's laugh was strained.  
  
"I-I've been too lazy. You wait on that bench for a while. I'll go check out this alleyway, okay Hisoka?" Tsuzuki wheeled around and headed down the alleyway.  
  
"Tsuzuki, I'm sor-" Tsuzuki waved a hand at Hisoka as though he were chasing away a fly.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I'll find the girl's spirit and everything will be fine!" With that, he ran off, leaving Hisoka to berate himself in the middle of the street.  
  
/ Stupid, Hisoka. . .the one guy who treats you like family and you chase him away. / Sighing deeply, Hisoka lifted himself from the ground and wearily made his way to the bench.  
  
/ Why does Tsuzuki always put on such an outrageous poker face? In the entire time that I've known him, he's always been sensitive and kind. I know he had some sort of troubled past, but he never opens up about what really happened during his life. What is he so afraid of? / Shivering slightly, Hisoka pulled up the collar of his trench coat.  
  
/ If anything, I'm the one who's been cruel here. Why do I always let my temper get the better of me? All it does is hurt the people I care about. I don't.I don't want to hurt Tsuzuki again. / Staring worriedly down the dark stretch of alleyway, Hisoka muttered to himself.  
  
"Tsuzuki. . .you baka. . .where are you? Hurry up and get back here so I can say I'm sorry. . ."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tsuzuki wandered about the streets of the city, trying to distract himself from the tumult of dark feelings in his heart. The dreary monotonous landscape did nothing to soothe his mood, and soon his thoughts wandered back to Hisoka.  
  
/ I can't really blame him for pushing me away, after sensing what I'm really like.after all, I don't really belong here anyway. . ./  
  
Tsuzuki stopped in the middle of the road, closing his eyes and hugging himself as his age-old guilt overwhelmed him.  
  
"I don't belong here. . ." he whispered softly to the night air.  
  
"All too true, my lovely one. . ." Muraki's voice rang darkly through the streets, raising the fine hairs on Tsuzuki's neck on end. Smirking as he sauntered forward, the sadistic doctor began scattering white roses around Tsuzuki's feet. Tsuzuki recoiled from them, backing away from the whole scene into a grove of sakura trees.  
  
"Muraki, w-what are you doing here?!" Tsuzuki gasped as Muraki strode confidently forward, pressing himself against the Shinigami's body. Leaning in, he breathed softly into his ear.  
  
"The question is, my friend. . .what are you doing here? Or anywhere for that matter?" Stepping away, Muraki softly cupped Tsuzuki's cheek in his hand.  
  
"After all, why should a creature such as yourself deserve second chances, hm?"  
  
"Damn you. . ." Tsuzuki growled, releasing an enormous amount of ki in Muraki's direction. The ki glowed around the two of them, illuminating the satisfied smirk on Muraki's face. Tsuzuki convulsed as it bounced back at him, effectively wrapping him in chains of his own ki. An expression of horror grew in Tsuzuki's eyes as Muraki leaned down to lift him into his arms.  
  
"Tsk tsk, Tsuzuki-san, you've been caught in my little trap. I set up this grove with a reflective spell. Any ki you release here will bounce right back at you, so I wouldn't be too hasty." Pulling a strip of paper from his pocket, Muraki continued.  
  
"Of course, now it's ridiculously easy for me to do this. . ." Muraki pasted the spell onto Tsuzuki's chest, watching as it crackled with power.  
  
"Sleep tight, Tsuzuki-san. . ." Tsuzuki futilely struggled against his invisible bonds, fighting the haziness that tinted his vision. His gaze wandered, focusing on a lamppost, then Muraki's face, then a white rose next to his eye, and then all went black. 


End file.
